The Adventures of Veigh and the Mysterious Soccer Boy who Failed at the Jumping Exercises but Amazingly Avoided Admonishment

Living is simple
And breathing is easy
It's easy to do
Living is simple
And losing is easy
I'm losing my cool
I'm losing my cool again

yes Veigh, i did find a picture more or less depicting our inept soccer friend's plight. yes Veigh, i am that good.

The odd yet assuredly appropriate title above can and should be directly attributed to a one Ms. Redwine, seeing as though this blog post is most likely only in existence because i promised her i would write it. actually, i promised that i would write it back in December, clearly did not, and thus will now have to endure a day of punishment via clothing on a day of her choosing. lovely. Veigh: you're welcome. SNL quote intended1.


Seeing as though i am not currently a) cramming2, b) panicking3, or c) praying on the behalf of my math grade4, one may infer that finals have recently ravished my life and thus receded to lie in wait until mid-June when they will pillage once more5.

"finals! AAAAUUUGHHHHH!!"

This semi-comforting fact does not, however, mean that school has stopped rudely sticking its obnoxious little nose into the confines of my once-simple life6. It definitely still does. But, today it at least afforded me a smidgen7 of entertainment in return for putting up with its devious ways. How, you may ask? By presenting the following question: What illegal things have become widely socially acceptable in today's society, despite their illicit nature?
This entertains me. My amusement concerning this is two fold, and can be tied to the following two categories:

^the first: illegal things that society does8

and the second: things society does that should be illegal9

and thus, my lunch period proved far better than expected. to address the former category, the list we compiled is as follows:

• pot
• driving friends before legally allowed to
• j- walking
• downloading movies/music off the internet
• pot
• stealing cable
• cell phoning while driving
• watching tv shows on the internet/ reading books on the internet
• pot10

needless to say, there are undoubtedly others, but these are what we came up with. driving friend afforded little discussion; so many people do it. it happens. pot was entertaining in people are still trying to legalize it, which is ridiculously funny.

note: pot is also trying for political party status,the slogan is so clearly written by someone who personal endorses pot (by partaking in it), they have a phone number (i willl give a nickle to anyone who calls it), they are based in california (lovely), US apparently now has a Parliament, and, there is a UFO on their seal. i am convinced. sign me up.

J-walking is funny when people get tickets for it.11 downloading movies/watching tv online is hilarious because Lauren does it, which makes her a menace to society, which, if you know Lauren, is hysterical.

^Lauren

Cable/internet stealing is funny if you can watch it happen12, cell phoning while driving happens, and once again pot is just absurdly ridiculous.

Now the second, and much more limited, category of conversation yielded the following list:

• anything without pants

name an everyday public activity. now subtract the pants. case in point.

the most notable argument for the banning of lack of pants in public came from the age-old sign:

...pants?13

Should-be illegals probably includes other society fails14 other than a lack of pants15, and i welcome any other additions anyone has to offer. But for the time being, my debt being thus repaid, the time has come for me to retire back the non-humorous portion of school.

"see? i made it bigger so you can see it". 15.5

Under penalty of death by Veigh, i shall attempt to update more frequently. But no guarantees.

Until then, keep your pants on.

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1. for all those confused by the SNL reference (or just think its entertaining): click here
2. more than usual, of course.
3.crap. also more than usual. i just realized that my life sucks. bah.
4. don't laugh. it was successful. 79.2, which my teacher "poofed" into a 79.6, and then rounded up to a B. YES. lowest possible B: achieved. HA.
5. finals as vikings? oddly accurate, minus the awesome hats and mass quantities of facial hair.
6. "simple" being in like, 2nd grade when you frolic about mindlessly and run around free range at recess (RECESS. why did that go away??) and wear pilgrim costumes made out of paper bags and sing songs atrociously out of key. ah yes. plus, i, personally, seriously miss nap time.
7. really a word. not kidding. look it up. by which i mean click aqui.
8. hahaha.
9. HAHAHAHAHA.
10. the number of times "pot" is included is not for added emphasis, its literally the number of times i tried to convince my friend to write her English paper on pot. she refused. all 3 times.
11. true. totally happens. you can also get tickets for other ridiculous things, like a BUI: biking under the influence. is there a WUI? walking under the influence? rollerskating under the influence? existing under the influence?
12. "whats that guy doing lying on the ground under that tree by the back of that fence with his lapto...OH! HE'S TOTALLY STEALING INTERNET!"
13. sidenote: that particular sign happened to read completely: "Sex!...now that we have your attention: no shirt, no shoes, no service!". entertaining.
14. society fails. sails.
15. like possibly impulse-buying 48 tiny clip on koalas from Australia. whoooo does that?
15.5. ohhhh the office. ohhhh kathy.
16. ha. Joc.
17. "Living is Simple" by Switchfoot. YES.

Is this fiction or divine comedy?16
Where the last of the last finish first
Living is simple17