Persistence of Memory

"It just takes some time, little girl,

you're in the middle of the ride.

Everything, everything will be just fine

Everything, everything will be alright, alright"1

"i can't take my mind off of you."2

Through various trials and tribulations in my own life, I have come to the conclusion that Einstein was entirely correct in his saying, "time is relative". Al, unless you took AP euro when you were in high school 3, you remain blissfully unaware of just how accurate that statement is.

Recipe for mass intellectual student body discontentment: 100+ flashcards, 90 pages of textbook reading 4 *note, many choose to add seasoning of some sort, like background music or reading with an Irish accent 4.5, seeing as though this reading is extremely DRY*, toss in the "suggested"5 taking of notes, add multiple pieces of art and literature to taste, and stir together rapidly in an isolated, despondent kitchen and bake until your brains burn out. if you're feeling adventurous, just add an excessively difficult test 6 upon return to school, and you can successfully whip up an angry mob in record time.
Thus: my spring break may be metaphorically represented by this:

As anyone who either (a) made this euro cake or (b) had to eat this euro cake would most likely attest to the unfortunate fact that the minutes crept by.7

However, if we consider the alternative, healthier 8 recipe that many fortunate souls set about concocting over the past week, we recognize a few key differences:
-add time with friends
-multiple cups of beach time
-well-seasoned family vacation/outing
-hearty helping of relaxation
-and a generous addition of fun
when leisurely mixed together at the chef's preference, this recipe yields:

Yeah. whoooo doesn't want that?

I digress: my week consisted of that dreadful paradox between "too fast" and "too slow", while missing "just right" entirely. On the "if snails made a noise, Time would be making that noise right now" front: I would labor tirelessly for hours on end, eyes straining from scanning page after loathsome page of the dread pirate Western Civ, hands twitching and cramping in anguish from the deluge of note cards which I 9 so graciously bestowed upon them, and brain...well, brain doing this:

If you heard a loud "BOOM" several hours ago, don't panic. That was just my mind spontaneously combusting 10.

However, there were other occasions in which I would diligently cull11 through the plethora of material at breakneck speeds, pushing ever onward in pride of my own productivity...only to glace over at the clock to see that 6 hours had gone by. what the crap.

Time=relative(ly) awful to euro children.

It is my sincerest hope that those select few 11.5 who nimbly dodged the shackles that are the "mega unit"12 personified in all its detestable splendor spent their time, which i presume either seemed much longer (if you chose the relaxing/scenic route) or far too short (if you opted for the carpe diem approach), amusing themselves in better ways than I.

So, to those taking euro and thus partaking in the suffering aforementioned: (1) my condolences, (2) please excuse the inevitable raccoon eyes that I will be returning to school with, seeing as though you may have endured sleep deprivation as well this week, and (3) have your pitchforks and torches at the ready in case of the need for a flash mob come Monday.
And to anyone not taking euro, to you I have but one admonition: eat cake.13

_ _ _

1. the middle, jimmy eat world: referencing euro
2. the blowers daughter, Damien rice: referencing not just euro..
3. highly doubt it 4. not joking. i counted. its seriously 90 pages. feel free to beat your head against a wall repeatedly now.
4.5. fully serious. feel free to substitute British, Australian, or southern accents to mix it up, though.
5. really now, Mr. Stordahl. we all know that by "suggesting" that we take notes, you're really saying "if you do not diligently catalog every last syllable of those three chapters, thou art screwed". don't play head games with me.
6. honestly, if that test turns out to be one of those "you can study every day for the rest of your life and you will still get a C" tests, there will be a coup.
7. note to joc: i really wanted to put "seemed as slow as molasses in the Yukon in January wit a seven year itch", but i figured that would just not bode well for the general comprehension. p.s the euro cake: your team.
8. accurate. sleep/fun/relaxation=good for you. cramming/cramping/spontaneous combustion=bad
9. acting on behalf of Mr. Stordahl, of course.
10. second thought: it may have actually been more of a 'self-destruct' for safety purposes.
11."highlight, circle, underline it. pop it in your notes"
11.5. who shall hence be known as "the chosen ones". if you're thinking of (a)some epic karate or star wars movie or (b) toy story (the claaaaaw), you're awesome.
12. stordahl's constant reference to what we know better as the unit from hell as the prestigious "mega unit'=cheese grater on my forehead
13. oh, the irony of it all. (preferably the non-euro cake, for obvious reasons)
14. what sarah said, death cab for cutie. sensational.

"and it came to me then, that every plan, is a tiny prayer to father Time"14